As part of the leadership of the High School group at my church, the 9th grade girls often pick bible plans for all of us to do together. Sunday morning, the Bible devotion plan referenced Jesus emptying of Himself for His obedience to death on the cross referencing the book of Philippians Chapter 2 with the following verses:
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
I can’t help but think of the many times I’ve taken His willingness to die for me for granted. Just like verse 10 states that every knee should bow, that’s exactly what I thought when I read the verses above.
I think back to my very early 20’s when my oldest brother used to want me to go to church and I refused then because I thought I wasn't ready to devote my life to God. I thought I had to be ready, like many people do.
I also think of people who don't believe in Jesus, and I’m not judging. I understand that because at one time in my life even after my commitment to God, I questioned His existence. However, on the other hand, I think, “Man, if He doesn't exist, this is the biggest lie in the history of the world about a human.” So I thought I little further and remembered that...
Allow me to share a little back story; Over 20 years ago I recall feeling so sad over a relationship that wasn't going to work out that I ended up taking a whole bunch of medication to end my life. I lived with my Mom and Dad at the time. After saying good bye one afternoon to the young man, I went home, grabbed all of the medications that were in sight, went to the room, took them and fell asleep. I had written a good bye note and placed it in the back pocket of my jeans.
My father (who despite his imperfect love, loved us so much) had noticed something was wrong with me and came in the room to find me out of it. He then saw the bottles of pills. I don't recall anything other than him crying and repeating words for “my little girl” in Spanish.
I was taken to our local Emergency Hospital by Ambulance where the medication I’d taken was pumped out of me. I remember that experience, and it was the saddest time of my life. So, years later when I questioned God’s existence, in the midst of my meditative questioning, the biggest sense of sadness I’d felt during the suicide attempt I had committed 20 years prior to that swept over me again. A feeling I had forgotten. This time, however, in the sadness I didn’t want to end my life.
I was able to compare the hopeless sadness I'd felt before my commitment to Jesus with the feeling of sadness while walking with Jesus since 2005 (in the midst of my questioning His existence) and I thought, “I never ever want to feel THAT sadness in my life again.”
I definitely cried many tears over the years, but I’ve never wanted to take my life ever again. I‘ve never looked at another situation as hopeless. I’m convinced this was God’s revelation of His existence in my life and I vowed then to never again question it. Since then, His love has become as real as anything else that exists. My life is imperfect and have bursts of negative feelings and emotions at times, but deep down I have an inexpressible joy, surpassing peace, and a great hope that I never could have outside of God.
His love for me makes me want to share His presence, His realness in my life. Although I think people should give God a chance, I also realize that everyone needs to have their own experience. My brother meant oh so well when he kept inviting me to church, and when I finally went years later. I wished I’d listened to him sooner. Perhaps I could’ve avoided many tears and heartaches I experienced outside of the love of God.
I’m not sure who may read this that could be questioning God’s existence, and that’s totally okay in my opinion. But I'd like to share this, in my questioning, I went to no one other than my journal and my thoughts through the meditations of my heart. I couldn't even pray at times... and, not that I advise against praying or asking for help but this time I couldn't and in the midst of it...
As a Christian now, I realize that sometimes we can be the most uncomfortably persuasive people. I'd like to take the time to apologize for anyone who I‘ve made uncomfortable or even pushed away. I also apologize as well on behalf of other Christians but do want say; We all mean well! We want to share God's love, hope and peace that gives us joy instead of a defeating sadness or hopelessness.
I know I’m imperfect in speech and sometimes my tongue gets tied in the midst of my desire to share Him because my thoughts want to come out all at the same time! Therefore, I’ve chosen the passive avenue of Blogs and YT Videos to share my walk and experience with God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. I hope you can seek Him yourself and experience the infinite love—that love that empties us of ourselves and makes us want to commit to Him. He can not only give us peace, but He can shape us and divinely mentor us to share His love gracefully.
If you’ve seen the videos of my mental health story, (in my second video Mental Health through Pandemia, https://youtu.be/iEhiJ0vbI9Y ) I shared a disclaimer that my videos are for entertainment only, and that I’m not a doctor. Since then, I’ve felt uneasy, because it isn't just Entertainment, it's a True Story of Love. Sometimes, as in the video, I feel like I down play The Great Sacrifice of Jesus, and I do that because I don’t want to beat anyone over the head with the truths of Jesus. What I want to do is, through my conviction, share the realness of His love, the truth of His hope, and the joy that He gives us despite the situations we face in life.
Recently, I thought of (and keep going back to) how each life journey is like a blue print uniquely created for us to navigate and there is purpose in every turn. The journey is as unique as we are and everybody’s path with God is different. What unites us is the love of Jesus and all the benefits that come from choosing to believe in Him. May your life be blessed with the Fruits of the Spirit that He died to give us, and may we all pass them on, not as Entertainment, but as the true story of love.
Sincerely,
Glenda L. Krupnick
Daughter, Mother, Wife
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
I can’t help but think of the many times I’ve taken His willingness to die for me for granted. Just like verse 10 states that every knee should bow, that’s exactly what I thought when I read the verses above.
All I want to do is bow down to Him and say,
“Whatever you want Lord."
I think back to my very early 20’s when my oldest brother used to want me to go to church and I refused then because I thought I wasn't ready to devote my life to God. I thought I had to be ready, like many people do.
I also think of people who don't believe in Jesus, and I’m not judging. I understand that because at one time in my life even after my commitment to God, I questioned His existence. However, on the other hand, I think, “Man, if He doesn't exist, this is the biggest lie in the history of the world about a human.” So I thought I little further and remembered that...
...one of God’s revelation of Himself in my life came in
at that time of my questioning His existence.
Allow me to share a little back story; Over 20 years ago I recall feeling so sad over a relationship that wasn't going to work out that I ended up taking a whole bunch of medication to end my life. I lived with my Mom and Dad at the time. After saying good bye one afternoon to the young man, I went home, grabbed all of the medications that were in sight, went to the room, took them and fell asleep. I had written a good bye note and placed it in the back pocket of my jeans.
I was taken to our local Emergency Hospital by Ambulance where the medication I’d taken was pumped out of me. I remember that experience, and it was the saddest time of my life. So, years later when I questioned God’s existence, in the midst of my meditative questioning, the biggest sense of sadness I’d felt during the suicide attempt I had committed 20 years prior to that swept over me again. A feeling I had forgotten. This time, however, in the sadness I didn’t want to end my life.
I was able to compare the hopeless sadness I'd felt before my commitment to Jesus with the feeling of sadness while walking with Jesus since 2005 (in the midst of my questioning His existence) and I thought, “I never ever want to feel THAT sadness in my life again.”
Sure I’ve had many trials and felt sad at times since then.
I definitely cried many tears over the years, but I’ve never wanted to take my life ever again. I‘ve never looked at another situation as hopeless. I’m convinced this was God’s revelation of His existence in my life and I vowed then to never again question it. Since then, His love has become as real as anything else that exists. My life is imperfect and have bursts of negative feelings and emotions at times, but deep down I have an inexpressible joy, surpassing peace, and a great hope that I never could have outside of God.
His love for me makes me want to share His presence, His realness in my life. Although I think people should give God a chance, I also realize that everyone needs to have their own experience. My brother meant oh so well when he kept inviting me to church, and when I finally went years later. I wished I’d listened to him sooner. Perhaps I could’ve avoided many tears and heartaches I experienced outside of the love of God.
I’m not sure who may read this that could be questioning God’s existence, and that’s totally okay in my opinion. But I'd like to share this, in my questioning, I went to no one other than my journal and my thoughts through the meditations of my heart. I couldn't even pray at times... and, not that I advise against praying or asking for help but this time I couldn't and in the midst of it...
...my heart prayed words I never even muttered!
Also, I felt ashamed for questioning God's existence! So, I didn't share with anyone because I didn't want to be judged by Christians. On the other hand, I didn't want to be persuaded against Him by non-Christians, so I didn’t go to them either. In looking back, I am glad I didn't go to anyone because this experience was between He and I.As a Christian now, I realize that sometimes we can be the most uncomfortably persuasive people. I'd like to take the time to apologize for anyone who I‘ve made uncomfortable or even pushed away. I also apologize as well on behalf of other Christians but do want say; We all mean well! We want to share God's love, hope and peace that gives us joy instead of a defeating sadness or hopelessness.
I know I’m imperfect in speech and sometimes my tongue gets tied in the midst of my desire to share Him because my thoughts want to come out all at the same time! Therefore, I’ve chosen the passive avenue of Blogs and YT Videos to share my walk and experience with God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. I hope you can seek Him yourself and experience the infinite love—that love that empties us of ourselves and makes us want to commit to Him. He can not only give us peace, but He can shape us and divinely mentor us to share His love gracefully.
If you’ve seen the videos of my mental health story, (in my second video Mental Health through Pandemia, https://youtu.be/iEhiJ0vbI9Y ) I shared a disclaimer that my videos are for entertainment only, and that I’m not a doctor. Since then, I’ve felt uneasy, because it isn't just Entertainment, it's a True Story of Love. Sometimes, as in the video, I feel like I down play The Great Sacrifice of Jesus, and I do that because I don’t want to beat anyone over the head with the truths of Jesus. What I want to do is, through my conviction, share the realness of His love, the truth of His hope, and the joy that He gives us despite the situations we face in life.
Sincerely,
Glenda L. Krupnick
Daughter, Mother, Wife
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