EMOTIONS

Emotions can be so tricky! 

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We have many positive emotions, 

but often we have just as many negative ones.

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And just because we "feel" those negative emotions doesn't mean 

we need to become one with them.

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We can acknowledge them, but we don't have to welcome them. 

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Whether they are from our past or our present, 

it's very easy to contemplate those emotions. 

 Some of them feel nice to hold on to!

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I keep having a dream in which my subconscious 

keeps trying to take me to a past emotional state 

as if desiring me to acknowledge it 

and become one with it. 

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I used to ruminate on these thoughts in the past.   

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The word ruminate means to think deeply about something, 

and I used to think so deeply about this that 

I used to feel so sorry for myself and angry about the injustice 

that had been done to me and others.

This was a problem because I do not want 

to revisit painful memories that I thought 

I'd overcome and for which 

I also feel I've been redeemed from.

Why is it, though, that sometimes 

thoughts and issues from the past come back to haunt us?

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Perhaps it is testing to see if we have truly overcome them?!

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Well, this time, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I have 

because I am no longer feeling sorry for myself, 

nor am I angry at others.

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So when I was awakened from the dream today, 
I decided to acknowledge it and ask God in prayer to help me disconnect 
from the desire to become one with this past emotion.

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I prayed to be released from it and
 instead, focus on the new healthy emotions 
that are as pleasing to Him as they are to me these days.

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One keyword that came to mind as I wrote this was "resist,"

and the scriptures tell us in James 4:7 to do just that

when something (which can include an emotion)

tries to entice us. 

It says to submit to God, 

resist the devil (in this case, it IS evil),

and it will flee from us.

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As I looked up the scripture, 

I was also reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:13 

that this is not an uncommon struggle 

(to face temptations of any kind, that is), 

and many, including myself, have been here before.

Not only have I been here before, 

but I've also overcome before 

and therefore 

I have the ability to overcome this one as well.  

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The problem is not just not asking God

to help us but in how honest our desire for His help to overcome is.

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In the past, revisiting this emotion made me feel like

I should be the one people felt sorry for. 

I was the victim! I need restitution!

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I was acting as if... 

I'd never been blessed before or after the injustice that was done to me!

So when I asked, I was not sincere because I was not ready to let go of the victim mentality.  

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However, the scriptures in James 4:3 tell us that 

when we ask, we must be sincere, 

not because it is what we should do, 

but because it's what we truly want to do.

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I sing I am no victim by Kristene Di'marco, 
which is an amazing song, 
but I was lying through my teeth!  

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I have been in the insincere asking place many times before, 

so I finally recognized this one as well.

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Maybe others relate to that place where

we ask God to be delivered from something

we don't really want to be delivered from

because we like it a little more than we really should,

or more than it is good for us. 

Like a pity party.

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Or is it just me?

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Nevertheless, I have come to a place that I also recognize,

and that is a place of honesty within myself, where I truly

want to get rid of it now, and I know I can not do this on my own…

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because I can write about it!

…and I know that He is faithful to provide just as I need (Mark 11:24).

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God is and will continue to be faithful in giving us the ability to overcome 
any kind of temptation by providing us a way out, 
as it also states in 1 Corinthians 10:13 when we ask Him for it. 

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But, even if I wouldn't have reached that place yet, 

I still would not give up.  

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I simply do not give up!  

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Just because I fall or repeatedly fail because of my weaknesses 
doesn't mean I will not ask or keep on asking (Mathew 7:7).  

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Just because my asking is dishonest does not mean I will not keep on asking.

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I will keep on asking, 
knowing that God is purifying my heart and my motives 
as I pray for Him to do so according to Psalm 51:10, 
and I trust that 
as it is written in Philippians 1:6, 
He continues to perfect what He's started.

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Therefore, no matter what, 

I trust that my redeemer lives, and 

I will be delivered from my weaknesses 

and all evil that comes my way 

physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. 

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I can sing, speak and declare truth!

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Won't you declare it with me?

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GLK